Most my family and my friends keep bugging me to go back to live in Lebanon... I keep telling them no for a lot of reasons:
* My health condition is a major issue. How can I go back to Lebanon and my first 2 weeks in the hospital coasted around 10000$ out of pocket" Thanks to Société Géneral Bank of Lebanon " who helped us to pay that bill, my dad works as a security guard there. every other week a blood work coasted us around 50$ then the treatments each 15 days 100$. According to the cost of living and wages those ammounts are a lot. my dad makes around 600$ a month....
The point is i probably die on the hospital door before we can afford to admit me.....
*It was very hard to keep up with all expenses river's school at least 6000$ a year between books, uniforms and tuition... yes my friends to get an education in Lebanon it cost a lot of money...
* I graduated from college with MIS ( Management Information System) 2 years i stayed looking for a job lots of interviews but I have no buddy in the higher classes to recommends me... I was told unless I know someone big I will never get a job. Here I was hired for my skills not because i know someone with "Big Balls".....
* Here we have furniture not only a couch during the day a bed during the night... yes we are in deep financial troubles however we are able to manage... It's hard but we will pass it.
* I can walk down the street in CA yelling I hate the president no one can tell me anything ... it's called freedom of speech (not that i hate the president hehehe am just giving an example), in Lebanon hell would break loose you will go to jail and get beat .... I know at least 200 person who been beat and hurt and disabled from the brutal beating just because they said what they thought about the government that was controlled by a Syrian officer his headquarter was Anjar in Bekka valley back then.....
* How can I go back to a country where people cross red lights like there's only them on the road , most accidents are caused by TAXI drivers, they cut you off with no signal the just break in front of you out of nowhere. Were 1 person drive over 2 lanes instead of sharing the road, if you ask them why they tell you because they can they will not get in trouble because they know some high ranks police officers who will bail them out with nothing nor bad records.
I love to be free and I will always...
Family Friends I will visit you all but I AM NOT MOVING BACK TO LIVE IN LEBANON ANYTIME SOON...
Marcel
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Me and the airports
As you all know am Lebanese and am a resident of California (soon to be Citizen and so proud and excited about it). So when I fly internationally I use my Lebanese passport. Always my tickets get stamped with letters like "SSSS" or some weird stuff so when I am checking in to get to the gate for my flight at San Fransisco international airport the security see my tickets and there you go "am randomly selected " to be searched.... 3 or 4 times same story " Randomly selected" the first year went by and I got my CA driver 's license so when we start flying domestic I used my DL what a shock I am never "Randomly selected"... I went to Lebanon in 2008 of course using my Lebanese passport and of course I am "Randomly selected".... I mean come on give me a break I would like for once in my life time that the security to be honest with me and tell me "Sir, you have a Lebanese passport, that's why we are searching you".... I will be more then happy because I understand they are worrying about every one's safety including mine. Am not saying that Lebanese are terrorist please do not miss understand my point of view.
Thanks
Marcel
Thanks
Marcel
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
My SGN35 experience
Let me start briefly to how I ended up on this trial.
I already had 2 bone marrow transplants (1 auto, 1 allo; cells from my little brother)…had every chemo(ABVD, ICE, and many more I can't remember their names)…and even chemo’s created for me by Hodgkin’s specialist Dr. Sandra Horning ( she called them special cocktail for Marcel) hehehe.
I was taking immunosuppressant’s after my second BMT high doses of Gengraff and the trial was gonna start soon. So one of the fellow (Dr. Logan )who was new on my case in one week he took me off Gengraff. 2weeks go by i have no side effects. However in the few month earlier starting around November 2009 water was piling up in my chest. I only use 60% of my lungs already because the tumor pressed on my lungs and shut 40% off permanently. in April before I start the SGN35 trial a PET scan must be done so we can keep track of any progress of growth...I was really tired, exhausted, I can could hardly talk or walk. Shortness of breath even when I talk. I coughed till I threw up 3 to 4 times a day all what came out was just water. I thought that's it these are my last days. We went me and Angie to see Dr.Logan and i told him "man I think I am really sick and dying". He laughed and told me that the scan showed my right lung is under water so I was living on half a lung since my left one is more damaged from the old tumor. He said" man if you could tolerate that for all these months SGN35 will be a cake walk for you". Me and Angie were so happy i got admitted to same day for one night. They drained a water bottle that fit 1000 ML and big syringe that fit 350 ml. All that came out from my back with a big tall needle around 10 inches long anyway the next morning I did and Xray that showed there is no more water it was all drained. I left the hospital immediately I noticed that Ican breath walk talk hell even ran to the car but got exhausted.. I think I over did it loool.
I met with trial manager, she explained to me about the SGN35 trial and how this was the third year only, there is only 20 patients at Stanford and 20 at a hospital in Texas. I have to admit I prayed harder then ever to be able to get on this trial. With all the issues that was in my way when the time came I was ready.
She said it was able to put 70 to 75% of hard cases like mine in remission. I felt really blessed to be a part of something could be a cure finally. She told me the side effects that could happen, loss of weight, nausea, muscle ache , tingling in hands and legs...I was really excited that there is no new side effects because most times all what I got is nausea...
The first 3 treatments was the most awefull. First time the hook up small machine kind of like EKG to record the heart beats and activity for 2 hours. I could not even get on my Ipod because it interfere with the machine. 2 hrs went by i got the treatment 30 minutes IV. Then another 2 hrs of heart monitoring. I couldn't believe the minute they let me go home.6 days after the treatments i start feeling some cramps in my right thigh muscle. Not sever ones for few days and it was gone.
Second one was OK all what I had to do was some blood work check with my Dr. and am good for second round same issue happened again after 6 days from the treatment.
Third treatment was the same routine as the first one. I stayed up most of the night before so i could sleep those boring hours of monitoring.
Every 3 treatments I had to do a PET scan. The results were amazing the tumors a completely shrank only a small tiny shadow is showing. They said could be a scare tissue. From previous experiences when they tell me a scare tissue usually turns to tumors later. The doctor suggested to keep on going with the schedule and treatments since there is no side effects and to be more secure.
All the rest of the treatments had Heart monitoring for 2 minutes only. But is sucks because a middle eastern guy like me who chest hair is a problem. They had to shave spots only so they can stick those wire.
at treatment 5 I start feeling a small amount of numbness and tingling in my left hand. I report to the doctor she asked if i can write and button up my shirt pants, tie my shoe laces... I said "yeah I am able to do all those", she said ok for round five.
Round 6 was ok but the numbness and tingling is getting a little bit worst my left hand is always num 24/7 and my arm is getting numb in 2 sometimes 3 fingers. But still I was stubborn enough to take round 6.
A new pet scan is due. I feel so good so energetic so happy that the treatments is working. The result were "THE SCAN DID NOT SHOW ANY ACTIVITY AT ALL" I did not cry in front of the doctor I waited till I drove back home then it hit me. After 4 and half years of brutal fights finally for the first time ever there is nothing it is gone no scare tissue no nothing.Cars who stopped next to me on the lights were asking "are you ok?" what you would think a healthy looking man on the outside, music blasting like crazy ,windows down sun roof open on a nice sunny day CRYING??!?!?!? I just smiled and said I beated Cancer for real this time.
Treatment 7 and 8 my hands got really bad I could not open a bottle of water I could not lift anything I could hardly walk without tripping I had no strengh at all. Doctors said it is from SGN. So I had my 8th and last treatment in August 2010.
My hands didn't start to get better till 2 month after my 8 th one. They are progressing but very slowly. I almost have normal feeling in the right one. but the left hand is still a bit numb i say it did improve by 75% since i finished treatments.
Doctors said if I can tolerate the side effects it will go away in few months they can not be exact since each body tolerate things differently.They offered me a medication as a possible solution that might help but it had not so good side effects could make things worst. I said no thank you i can wait till they get better and save me from possible side effects.
My next PET scanner should be around the end of April. I just pray that everything is still the same and I hope that SGN35 will be available for all cancer patients who need it.
Thank you all for reading I tried to be brief but there is so much to talk about. Please if you any questions feel free to ask.
Marcel
I already had 2 bone marrow transplants (1 auto, 1 allo; cells from my little brother)…had every chemo(ABVD, ICE, and many more I can't remember their names)…and even chemo’s created for me by Hodgkin’s specialist Dr. Sandra Horning ( she called them special cocktail for Marcel) hehehe.
I was taking immunosuppressant’s after my second BMT high doses of Gengraff and the trial was gonna start soon. So one of the fellow (Dr. Logan )who was new on my case in one week he took me off Gengraff. 2weeks go by i have no side effects. However in the few month earlier starting around November 2009 water was piling up in my chest. I only use 60% of my lungs already because the tumor pressed on my lungs and shut 40% off permanently. in April before I start the SGN35 trial a PET scan must be done so we can keep track of any progress of growth...I was really tired, exhausted, I can could hardly talk or walk. Shortness of breath even when I talk. I coughed till I threw up 3 to 4 times a day all what came out was just water. I thought that's it these are my last days. We went me and Angie to see Dr.Logan and i told him "man I think I am really sick and dying". He laughed and told me that the scan showed my right lung is under water so I was living on half a lung since my left one is more damaged from the old tumor. He said" man if you could tolerate that for all these months SGN35 will be a cake walk for you". Me and Angie were so happy i got admitted to same day for one night. They drained a water bottle that fit 1000 ML and big syringe that fit 350 ml. All that came out from my back with a big tall needle around 10 inches long anyway the next morning I did and Xray that showed there is no more water it was all drained. I left the hospital immediately I noticed that Ican breath walk talk hell even ran to the car but got exhausted.. I think I over did it loool.
I met with trial manager, she explained to me about the SGN35 trial and how this was the third year only, there is only 20 patients at Stanford and 20 at a hospital in Texas. I have to admit I prayed harder then ever to be able to get on this trial. With all the issues that was in my way when the time came I was ready.
She said it was able to put 70 to 75% of hard cases like mine in remission. I felt really blessed to be a part of something could be a cure finally. She told me the side effects that could happen, loss of weight, nausea, muscle ache , tingling in hands and legs...I was really excited that there is no new side effects because most times all what I got is nausea...
The first 3 treatments was the most awefull. First time the hook up small machine kind of like EKG to record the heart beats and activity for 2 hours. I could not even get on my Ipod because it interfere with the machine. 2 hrs went by i got the treatment 30 minutes IV. Then another 2 hrs of heart monitoring. I couldn't believe the minute they let me go home.6 days after the treatments i start feeling some cramps in my right thigh muscle. Not sever ones for few days and it was gone.
Second one was OK all what I had to do was some blood work check with my Dr. and am good for second round same issue happened again after 6 days from the treatment.
Third treatment was the same routine as the first one. I stayed up most of the night before so i could sleep those boring hours of monitoring.
Every 3 treatments I had to do a PET scan. The results were amazing the tumors a completely shrank only a small tiny shadow is showing. They said could be a scare tissue. From previous experiences when they tell me a scare tissue usually turns to tumors later. The doctor suggested to keep on going with the schedule and treatments since there is no side effects and to be more secure.
All the rest of the treatments had Heart monitoring for 2 minutes only. But is sucks because a middle eastern guy like me who chest hair is a problem. They had to shave spots only so they can stick those wire.
at treatment 5 I start feeling a small amount of numbness and tingling in my left hand. I report to the doctor she asked if i can write and button up my shirt pants, tie my shoe laces... I said "yeah I am able to do all those", she said ok for round five.
Round 6 was ok but the numbness and tingling is getting a little bit worst my left hand is always num 24/7 and my arm is getting numb in 2 sometimes 3 fingers. But still I was stubborn enough to take round 6.
A new pet scan is due. I feel so good so energetic so happy that the treatments is working. The result were "THE SCAN DID NOT SHOW ANY ACTIVITY AT ALL" I did not cry in front of the doctor I waited till I drove back home then it hit me. After 4 and half years of brutal fights finally for the first time ever there is nothing it is gone no scare tissue no nothing.Cars who stopped next to me on the lights were asking "are you ok?" what you would think a healthy looking man on the outside, music blasting like crazy ,windows down sun roof open on a nice sunny day CRYING??!?!?!? I just smiled and said I beated Cancer for real this time.
Treatment 7 and 8 my hands got really bad I could not open a bottle of water I could not lift anything I could hardly walk without tripping I had no strengh at all. Doctors said it is from SGN. So I had my 8th and last treatment in August 2010.
My hands didn't start to get better till 2 month after my 8 th one. They are progressing but very slowly. I almost have normal feeling in the right one. but the left hand is still a bit numb i say it did improve by 75% since i finished treatments.
Doctors said if I can tolerate the side effects it will go away in few months they can not be exact since each body tolerate things differently.They offered me a medication as a possible solution that might help but it had not so good side effects could make things worst. I said no thank you i can wait till they get better and save me from possible side effects.
My next PET scanner should be around the end of April. I just pray that everything is still the same and I hope that SGN35 will be available for all cancer patients who need it.
Thank you all for reading I tried to be brief but there is so much to talk about. Please if you any questions feel free to ask.
Marcel
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Marcel Taking this blog over
Hi everybody, I guess you all know who I am from the blog that my lovely wife created about me. I never found blogging interesting but i have none to do so I wanted to give it a shot.
I will be blogging about the craziest thing that goes threw my head. I don't care what people think of me because I am who I am, I say things the way i see them and proud of myself...
Enough about me bragging about myself, I like to start with the subject that got me interested in blogging.
I heard on some TV show that a new version (Updated as they said) of the Bible is gonna be out that will reveal a lot of important secrets about the catholic church. The Vatican is not forcing anyone to confirm the new version... here is what's intresting the church was slitted before over people wants to put statues in church and people who don't.... I mean how stupid is that .... the way I see it this new pope is bad news for the catholic church... The catholic church will split again between new version of the bible and old version of the bible......and of course in 200 years matter those 2 new religions will split in between them to become 10 to 15 new religion.... example old bible with statues.. old bible without statues...new Bible with ... new without.... that's what i could think of names from top of my head.
PS: Excuse my English sometimes.
Thanks for reading
I will be blogging about the craziest thing that goes threw my head. I don't care what people think of me because I am who I am, I say things the way i see them and proud of myself...
Enough about me bragging about myself, I like to start with the subject that got me interested in blogging.
I heard on some TV show that a new version (Updated as they said) of the Bible is gonna be out that will reveal a lot of important secrets about the catholic church. The Vatican is not forcing anyone to confirm the new version... here is what's intresting the church was slitted before over people wants to put statues in church and people who don't.... I mean how stupid is that .... the way I see it this new pope is bad news for the catholic church... The catholic church will split again between new version of the bible and old version of the bible......and of course in 200 years matter those 2 new religions will split in between them to become 10 to 15 new religion.... example old bible with statues.. old bible without statues...new Bible with ... new without.... that's what i could think of names from top of my head.
PS: Excuse my English sometimes.
Thanks for reading
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
3rd treatment...minimal side effects
Marcel will get his 3rd SGN-35 treatment this comming monday (june 7th). all of the Hodgkins symptoms seem to have vanished. no more night sweats, severe pain in his chest, itching. we can still feel the tumors that are close to the skin, but they arent bothering him the way the used to. before he started this treatment he was between 10-15 oxycotin pills a day. he hasnt touched the pills for about 3 weeks now.
as far as side effects, they seem to be minimal. he had some pain in his shoulders and knees a few weeks ago, but they have dissapeard. for about a week a new side effect has popped up. when Marcel lifts his legs, his thighs are very sore. he notived this first when dressing one morning as he was getting dressed. he said its liveable...and only bothers him when hes getting dressed, undressed or putting his shoes and socks on. hopefully it will fade as well.
for his next treatment he will catch the train home (i'll be working and he doesnt want me to take more days off) his mother is visiting, and shes never been on a train. plus the last time he recieved the treatment, driving home he said he felt confused and thought he was gonna get in a accident. he didnt say anything to his mother because she doesnt know how to drive, and he didnt want to make her nervouse, but he was scared. weird thing is....he's had tons of chemo over the past years (some chemos were even 3 day infusions), and never had chemo brain. its odd that a bag that only takes 30 minutes to infuse would finally give it to him.
i hope everyone out there who is recieving treatment for any type of cancer will be healed!
also if anyone else is on SGN-35 please contact me. i dont know anyone else who i can talk to about this treatment.
wishing the best to everyone!
as far as side effects, they seem to be minimal. he had some pain in his shoulders and knees a few weeks ago, but they have dissapeard. for about a week a new side effect has popped up. when Marcel lifts his legs, his thighs are very sore. he notived this first when dressing one morning as he was getting dressed. he said its liveable...and only bothers him when hes getting dressed, undressed or putting his shoes and socks on. hopefully it will fade as well.
for his next treatment he will catch the train home (i'll be working and he doesnt want me to take more days off) his mother is visiting, and shes never been on a train. plus the last time he recieved the treatment, driving home he said he felt confused and thought he was gonna get in a accident. he didnt say anything to his mother because she doesnt know how to drive, and he didnt want to make her nervouse, but he was scared. weird thing is....he's had tons of chemo over the past years (some chemos were even 3 day infusions), and never had chemo brain. its odd that a bag that only takes 30 minutes to infuse would finally give it to him.
i hope everyone out there who is recieving treatment for any type of cancer will be healed!
also if anyone else is on SGN-35 please contact me. i dont know anyone else who i can talk to about this treatment.
wishing the best to everyone!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Marcel started his treatment
I created this blog a few months ago because my husband relapsed…and Hodgkin’s lymphoma came back.
These past few months have been the most insane roller coaster of our lives. My husband was told he relapsed in January, and just last week (April 26) he started treatment.
We weren’t even sure what could be done. He already had 2 bone marrow transplants (1 auto, 1 allo; cells from his brother)…had every chemo…and even chemo’s created for him by his favorite Hodgkin’s specialist Dr. Sandra Horning.
So the only option was a clinical trial….and we almost lost that opportunity because he was taking immunosuppressant’s. they let us know he couldn’t participate in the trail….but by the grace of god, with help from Dr. Logan (only the most amazing man who actually answers all of our phone calls…and calls to check up on how marcel is doing). He is one of the assisting Dr.’s for Dr. Advani…and he really pushed for marcel to be in the trial….
These past months have been pure hell. We weren’t even sure he’d make it to treatment. Almost everyday the past month…my husband kept saying he could feel himself dying…. That really messed up my head. I couldn’t comprehend such a thing. The right side of his chest have visible tumor growth….if I put my hand there, its like a bunch of peanut M&M’s under his skin…I cant even touch that area because I start felling like I cant breath. It’s really hard to see your spouse going through such things…or to contemplate death….I can’t even begin imagine how he must feel.
So I’ll use this blog to write about his experience and progress with SGN-35….and also to write about how brain is wrapping around our life.
……………………………………………
Last Monday he had his first treatment. The weird thing compared to other chemo’s he’s received…this infusion only took 30 minutes (some of the chemo’s he’s had in the past were 24 hour infusions). But he spent all Monday at Stanford. They did an ECG on him for 2 hours…gave him the SGN-35, and then gave him another ECG for 2 more hours.
Then Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday he went each day for a 2 hour ECG. I have no idea why all the ECG’s…most likely because it’s a clinical trial.
We were told that many people had no side effects to the SGN-35…but I think he may be having some. For the past few days he’s been complaining of bone pain. And he has been having diarrhea …but hopefully these go away.
I’d really like to hear from anyone else who is doing SGN-35. I don’t know anyone personally who has ever done this treatment. I know that some respond…some people don’t… (I pray he responds)…. I’d just really like to find an internet support buddy…ha-ha. Preferably a spouse.. of someone who is going through the same thing.
I didn’t do much research on SGN-35 because we thought he didn’t qualify for the trial, so I put it out of my mind.
……………………………………………
My husband’s mother arrived in the states this past Saturday…so hopefully that lifts his spirits and helps aid in his recovery. She will be here for 2 months :)
These past few months have been the most insane roller coaster of our lives. My husband was told he relapsed in January, and just last week (April 26) he started treatment.
We weren’t even sure what could be done. He already had 2 bone marrow transplants (1 auto, 1 allo; cells from his brother)…had every chemo…and even chemo’s created for him by his favorite Hodgkin’s specialist Dr. Sandra Horning.
So the only option was a clinical trial….and we almost lost that opportunity because he was taking immunosuppressant’s. they let us know he couldn’t participate in the trail….but by the grace of god, with help from Dr. Logan (only the most amazing man who actually answers all of our phone calls…and calls to check up on how marcel is doing). He is one of the assisting Dr.’s for Dr. Advani…and he really pushed for marcel to be in the trial….
These past months have been pure hell. We weren’t even sure he’d make it to treatment. Almost everyday the past month…my husband kept saying he could feel himself dying…. That really messed up my head. I couldn’t comprehend such a thing. The right side of his chest have visible tumor growth….if I put my hand there, its like a bunch of peanut M&M’s under his skin…I cant even touch that area because I start felling like I cant breath. It’s really hard to see your spouse going through such things…or to contemplate death….I can’t even begin imagine how he must feel.
So I’ll use this blog to write about his experience and progress with SGN-35….and also to write about how brain is wrapping around our life.
……………………………………………
Last Monday he had his first treatment. The weird thing compared to other chemo’s he’s received…this infusion only took 30 minutes (some of the chemo’s he’s had in the past were 24 hour infusions). But he spent all Monday at Stanford. They did an ECG on him for 2 hours…gave him the SGN-35, and then gave him another ECG for 2 more hours.
Then Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday he went each day for a 2 hour ECG. I have no idea why all the ECG’s…most likely because it’s a clinical trial.
We were told that many people had no side effects to the SGN-35…but I think he may be having some. For the past few days he’s been complaining of bone pain. And he has been having diarrhea …but hopefully these go away.
I’d really like to hear from anyone else who is doing SGN-35. I don’t know anyone personally who has ever done this treatment. I know that some respond…some people don’t… (I pray he responds)…. I’d just really like to find an internet support buddy…ha-ha. Preferably a spouse.. of someone who is going through the same thing.
I didn’t do much research on SGN-35 because we thought he didn’t qualify for the trial, so I put it out of my mind.
……………………………………………
My husband’s mother arrived in the states this past Saturday…so hopefully that lifts his spirits and helps aid in his recovery. She will be here for 2 months :)
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Marcel will start his treatment soon!
everyones prayers have done something special..
Marcel will begin the SGN-35 treatment on April 26th. i've been really nervouse about saying anything online...i've been avoiding blogger because i dont want to jinx anything.
i just really hope this happens...because my husband scan showed relapse in January...and he hasnt got any treatment yet.
things are getting pretty bad at home....i havent had a good night sleep in over a month. Marcels hodgkins is progressing really fast (months of not having any treatment will do that)....he is up all night itching, coughing, sweating...adn hes even been talking in his sleep so much latley. sometimes in the middle of the night he will just start talking to me, asking me questions. i will agree with anything he says, and once he woke up as we were talking and got mad at me for lying to him ..he asked me where we were gonna go...so i told him to san francisco. he sat up and asked, why i was playing with his head while he was sleeping? i tried to explain to him that i didnt want to wake him...so i just go with whatever he says...
i trully believe everyones prayers have trully been a blessing...because i'm honestly not sure how much longer Marcel can hold on without treatment. he's been asking me latley if he's dying. and i dont know what to say...so i tell him "every day everyones closer to death" ...i'm horriable with words in tough situations.
so his first appointment will be on April 21st to get his schedule for the SGN-35 ....i hope everything goes fine.
just one more thing...through all of this...Marcel has still been going to work everyday. he refuses to quit his job...he comes home exhausted, but he says its better than doing nothing.
Marcel will begin the SGN-35 treatment on April 26th. i've been really nervouse about saying anything online...i've been avoiding blogger because i dont want to jinx anything.
i just really hope this happens...because my husband scan showed relapse in January...and he hasnt got any treatment yet.
things are getting pretty bad at home....i havent had a good night sleep in over a month. Marcels hodgkins is progressing really fast (months of not having any treatment will do that)....he is up all night itching, coughing, sweating...adn hes even been talking in his sleep so much latley. sometimes in the middle of the night he will just start talking to me, asking me questions. i will agree with anything he says, and once he woke up as we were talking and got mad at me for lying to him ..he asked me where we were gonna go...so i told him to san francisco. he sat up and asked, why i was playing with his head while he was sleeping? i tried to explain to him that i didnt want to wake him...so i just go with whatever he says...
i trully believe everyones prayers have trully been a blessing...because i'm honestly not sure how much longer Marcel can hold on without treatment. he's been asking me latley if he's dying. and i dont know what to say...so i tell him "every day everyones closer to death" ...i'm horriable with words in tough situations.
so his first appointment will be on April 21st to get his schedule for the SGN-35 ....i hope everything goes fine.
just one more thing...through all of this...Marcel has still been going to work everyday. he refuses to quit his job...he comes home exhausted, but he says its better than doing nothing.
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