it hurts

I know I haven't opened this blog in over a year. First my apologies to all who were waiting for a reply. Second I am so happy and thank-full to find people who are still interested in my story.

I met a lot of people in person during my journey and none of them is still with us. They had same story as me and a lot of others. It hurted, devastated & depressed the living hell in me after I lost the last person late 2011. I decided to stay away and not talk to anyone who's going threw any sickness anymore.

Yes I hardly knew them, but i understood and they understood what we all are going threw. No one will understand what a cancer patient go threw except another cancer patient. There was this sad connection that we shared HODJKIN'S.

What broke my heart most is each and everyone was more then a fighter. Each one fought in different way but the main goal was the same to be cured and go back to be normal. We shared laughs lunches....at the end I found myself alone.

I don't know if I feel guilty or heart broken for all these fighters who lost their war.