My husbands long journey with Hodgkin's: Facing Death

Death is the most scary word to some people and it is nothing to others... I am sure all of us faced death or lived a near death experience once at least one time in our life time... To me death is nothing to be scared off, maybe I am born that way or spending my first 10 years in life facing death each and every single second of them. Yes that's how your life is when you are born in a war, 10 years facing death I learned how to not be scared and accept the idea that I could be living my last seconds of every ticking minute. So the more seconds I have to live the more appreciative and thankful I get. During the war I was not scared to die but I was freaked out on my family my mom, my brother and specially my dad who was fighting on the most brutal fire lines... Every time that man left the house and us to go help ,support and direct on how to hold the place together, (his friends Called him Captain) I was expecting him to come back in a body bag... I know it is sad but that stuff happened to a lot of my friends, I had to adjust to the idea that my dad could one day come home in a body bag... Thank God every minute that my dad made it out of the war in one piece just missing some teeth and a lot of white hair......

So 3 years after the war ends we adjusted to the new life however things are not yet normal but there was no bombing... I get on the Attic to get some old boxes down, the cable for bulb that lights the Attic have no plastic cover and the light is on. I was crolling back and my elbow touched it , new electricity system was installed one week before changed the voltage from 110w to 220w ... I seen death again i was screaming and yelling and crying i came down everybody looking at me sweating like I had just finished sprinting 2 miles I said that I got shocked from the cable. It was fixed after I almost lost my life....

I was 16 years old when I bought my first motorcycle, I will not tell all the stories but you can imagine the accidents and the slides I got into on regular basis. at the age of 19 I lost my front teeth kissing a truck's behind. After that I promised my mom and dad that I will not buy or drive again and since the I have ride a couple but I did not drive any....

I lived an ok life from 19 till 22 that did not involve me getting killed but I got hurt a little hehehe....

So here come my 23rd Bday and I have been already a guest of St Joseph hospital (Dora, Beirut Lebanon) for 13 days blood testing, Biopsies on multiple organs and of course who can forget scanners of all kind... Here come Dr. Katan (Blood cancer specialist) congratulating me on having Cancer ( Hodgkin's Lymphoma) he said it is curable u will be fine in 6 month he damn guarantied it bla bla bla....Anyway I over heard that my life in danger and if I stayed without hospital I would of been dead in 2 weeks period... I start laughing everyone thought I lost my mind I said no one die before his "Lamp Is Empty From Oil" .

Grand pa bless his soul told me a story about him being a kid and how he got really sick and seen St Joseph in his dream giving him oil to go fill his lamp that the light was barely lit and how he woke up immediately after pouring the oil so refreshed like he had nothing... I keep laughing because no matter what we do , what we try to do to hide from Death , Death will always find us and remind us that hey I am here... People can not cheat Death, It is just Death reminding them of his existence by allowing them to get near him... Since then and I restored the every second could be my last mode there for am not scared from death that does not mean I am fearless..I am scared if I die what will happen to the people who will loose their minds ( My wife and My Mom) The 2 of them are the most important thing in my life.