Tuesday, March 29, 2011
CNN Unwelcome: Muslims Next Door Soledad O'Brien
It was very interesting to watch and very shocking to see the ignorance of some people. I am not representing anyone and I do not have hate for anyone... I am Lebanese Maronite who follow the Vatican as the head of the church. I have friends from all over the world and from all different religion... This is just my point of view and comments on the report. Very nice introduction about how the citizens of Murfreesboro Tennessee are very welcoming very lovable and it is the people who are saying that are the same ones who are making a big issue over building the Islamic center. At the beginning these people are arguing and refusing without even know what is the site gonna be for. It is a big site however a small part is gonna be a mosque the rest are a school a soccer field a pool.... doesn't that exist in every community center regardless of the religion or who is running the center.... 1:30 The Muslim girl herself said " no matter what religion what race you are the people are so welcoming". So basically people had no issues they lived the American life normally until the new mosque plans came up. Did the people who are opposing even ask any questions before they start their rejection? we will get to that part later. 1: 43 104000 citizens more then 140 church and 1 mosque for over 200 Muslim family. The numbers says it all. 2:32 Kevin fisher a correction officer... This is a religious man... He said 2:56 " outraged, shoved down our throat know nothing about it." Since when the united states officials give a permit to a construction site that need the whole town approval? 3:18 The public hearing... few residence complain about the lack of hearing about the mosque plans. This is a very small town comparing to others. I do not think that there is lack of hearing. The lack that exist is the knowledge about the Islamic religion. One educated person (how educated is he to have no Knowledge) said OMG Islamic center terrorist and all the town followed him without any questioning. 3:32 This woman saying " everybody knows who is trying to kill us... it is like we can't say it"... This is a shocking statement if everybody knows who is trying to kill us why don't everybody kill them then? BECAUSE YOU ARE IGNORANT AND YOU JUST FOLLOW WHAT YOU HEAR... How you can't say it when you are on international TV in a court room saying it???? if she knows who is trying to kill us, I would like her to be prosecuted for holding important information about our National security and safety.... 3:41 this lady says " our country was founded threw the founding fathers threw the TRUE GOD AND JESUS CHRIST" followed by a gentleman "am sorry they seem to be against everything I believe in so I don't want them necessarily in my neighborhood..." To the lady if you know you country's history you know it was founded on 120 Million dead native American... Look at the dollar bills it says "IN GOD WE TRUST" "what happened to one nation under God" and what do you mean by TRUE GOD ? You think Muslims and Jews and Christians each have a different God? here is some enlightening on your knowledge we all pray FOR THE SAME GOD IN DIFFERENT WAYS. For the gentleman this is USA where you are free to believe in what ever you want. No one have the right to question my believes. Do you own the town to decide who you want or you don't want in your neighborhood? I know everyone wants to have a good nice neighborhood but you can not choose who your neighbors are..... FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND BELIEVES.... 3:20 we are discussing USA matter why many people are holding the Israeli flag while protesting? This is USA not Jerusalem..... I think they are trying to create a conflict between Muslims and Jews over here... WE ALL CAME TO USA TO BECOME NEIGHBORS AND TO ESCAPE ALL THE BULLSHIT AND WARS IN MIDDLE EAST... we came here to not be judged based on our religions, but to establish good relationship and chase the American dream. We did not see any flags besides the American flag when the supporters marched. 4:50 Sally and Howard wall (Sally have more then one appearance in the report I will just mention her now.) Sally said she traveled a lot she have Muslims friends. She have fears and questions. Instead of putting her efforts in getting answers for her questions, she help fund the law suit against the mosque.Get answer save your money... That money could help a lot of people who are in need these hard times.... Mr. Howard seems more diplomatic he posed his questions" why not to build a smaller mosque?" " 200 families how they gonna pay for it?" "when we expended our church we are still paying for it" He is right in posing these questions.But why he is asking the reporter not the management of the mosque? 5:51 Ronald Todd he sold the land and now he is saying " his grand parents are turning over in their grave because the land is used to build a mosque" This guy is like the Palastians who sold their lands for Israeli and now they want them back. Why did you sell in the first place? Your grand parents are blessed because they gonna have people praying over them at least 5 times a day???? where is the harm??? Like everyone before him and after him in this report kept saying they pray for a different GOD..... 6:20 LLauren Zelneck who ran for congress... It is not Christians it is not Jews who are building? isn't that racist? that's all I have to say for a suposebly educated person to be able to run for congress... Is this the congress we want built on people who are being racist??? 6:43 pet Robertson "Strange place for a huge mosque.... bringing in 1000's of Muslims to take over the city council he will not be surprised" this is a very good point of view... Again am not accusing the Muslims who live there of being terrorists, we all know there is sleeping cells everywhere we all know the danger and the threat that many Extremist have for USA.... 7:00 a member of the mosque put a picture for hammas leader he was banned for 2 months from the mosque.... That is not enough that person should be reported and monitored by the authorities... 7:34 people marching and supporting the mosque... Those people are mixed those people are showing that YES WE CAN ALL LIVE TOGETHER IN PEACE.... The young girl said they are supporting the first commandments to worship the way they like...Now that's democracy and freedom of speech and believes. 8:05 a gentleman is yelling " I don't say to hate them, I say we don't need them here" I don't get it. Who put you in charge sir of who we are supposed to have or not have in USA. 8:35 assuming this man is a war hero who been there fighting...where there? who was he fighting? Isn't he raised in that people loving town? doesn't he know the loving and welcoming morals he was raised on that we mentioned in the beginning? Very shocking all the signs in the report " is America for sale?" 8:51 "TO EMBRACE ISLAM IS TO EMBRACE TERRORISM" who said the Islamic religion is based on killing and terrorising others? 9:00 this guy " this is training center..." what the hell training center for what? all what it have is a soccer field, a school, a tennis court and a swimming pool and mosque to pray.... 9:10 Salah Spenati "to label all Muslims and the Muslims community in Murfreesboro to the terrorist is nonsense" " one of the most beautiful city in USA people over here are extremely hospitable." How this lovely town turned upside down after he lived and felt welcomed there for over 20 years??? Salah said that he understand the fear that people have for their country... His family said they always felt welcomed and a part of the own community even after 9/11 people approached them and told them to not be scared and to not worry because they will not treat them always the same and people have not changed.... That was very kind and nice and no words can explain the beauty and the good feelings of those moments where you think you will be hated and bullied for something you have nothing to do with this warm and welcoming and understanding to the situation shows the beauty, the respect and the manners that Murfreesboro citizens have. 10:35 Since 1980 and the mosque they had to pray and worship THE SAME GOD that we all pray for was a small one bedroom apartment... If you watch that part you will see people are on side walks and in the parking lot trying to pray and participating in worshiping GOD... Is this fair/? there is 140 churches is it so much to ask for a bigger mosque to warship GOD? 11:23 The Imam answered the question Mr. Howard wall about where the money is coming from and it shows the plans for the mosque ... Look at the plans it is not a 53000 squares mosque... It is a more like a community center.... 13:13 The "not welcome" on the site sign... Is this freedom of speech? is this democracy to go destroy others properties? what would they do if someone went and wrote on a church you are not welcome? I am not blaming anyone and I pray that this incident is just one person's job not more... If this is an organized crime behind it, this incident will open doors that we do not need to be opened... 14:30 Imam Oussama can not answer the fear of Muslims and there questions about why? and who? 15:30 The imam's wife explain how she converted to Islams shortly after 9/11... She did what all others should do ( am not saying convert to Islam) She picked up a book and then another and then another till she understood the religion, she likes it she believed in it that's why she convert. She was brave to come forward and says she is born and raised as an American all her life... 16:30 the constructions started by leveling the land... The imam was very smart when he was asked why not to make a celebration... he said he do not want to aggravate the people's feelings... I am sure he meant the people who are opposing them. That shows the respect, the care and the efforts to be accepted by others. All the rest is just point of views for kevin fisher and what he is worried about... water , traffic .... The reporter asked him " how much of it you don't want a mosque" he totally answered out of subject " he said they have the right to worship how they see fit" excuse me sir but are you fighting yourself? one minute you don't want the mosque and you lead protesters and march in the streets and one minute they can worship how they fit?... I am sorry but this guy have some unanswered questions " will burying bodies without a casquettes affect the water and the soil?" the lamest excuse " traffic on the back roads" well come check out the traffic we have everyday on 6 lanes HWY that is jammed just because people trying to get to work... 18:22 the disturbing voice mails that I will not comment at just because they are on the most lower pathetic scale of manners and morals that prevent me from going down to that low self respect and hate based level. 19:20 A call from the police in a late night in August informing that the equipment are damaged by a fire...It breaks my heart to see hard working American citizen who love this country and will defend it to the last drop of blood to be standing and crying because of the way that they are treated and the damages they received.... If that fire in the constructions equipements is not a terrorism act I don't know what is a terorrism act anymore. 22:30 Officials offered 20000$ reward for anyone who will lead to arrest the one or ones who set the fire... That is a very nice move and very strong...In order to keep order and not apply the jungle law....20000$ is a big reward ... that shows the support and the protection of authorities for this Muslim community. 23:00 Sally wall:" It didn't make sense to me""honestly i think it is fake." .... what kind of a human being would damage his own property and cause a delay in constructions just to accuse you and your group of it? why would the muslims do that? for what reason? what good they will get? You don't know the morals the manners the respect the not hurting anybody specialy when a holy site is being built.... I respect your opinion but it doesn't make sense when you say oh they are trying to get people on their side. There is a lot of people on their side most likely the majority is on their side... are you saying the majority is wrong? or the court that you funded the law suit that lost against the mosque is wrong? 24:40 Lama said clearly she is not any different from any kid in the town except she was born patriotic American Muslim and 9/11 her religion was hijacked by extremest" I thought that was a good speech to represent herself. However mr Fisher had a very shocking response " I can not listen any more this is garbage" Really are you kidding me.... if this is garbage and you do not respect others opinion and speeches why should anyone listen to you ? where is the freedom of speech and the respect of the freedom of speech that you and your group chant?..... In the beginning of the report I had respect for this man because he had unanswered questions and fear for his way of living which is totally understandable ... now he doesn't want his questions answered and he say it is garbage.... so basically sir you are nothing more then a closed minded ignorant person who follow and do whatever he is told whether is right or wrong. ( I am not judging him am just giving my opinion.) 25:22 Mrs Zelnec ( the lady that run for congress) facing Ms. LAMA in front of cameras... Please watch this part it shows how disrespectful and racist Mrs. zelnec is. What kind of politics this woman run? she did not answer LAMA she felt trapped and she start being so arrogant about her interview and how the reporters should interview LAMA, and what does mrs Zelnec mean by saying she think LAMA is very important and she should finish the interview ? Lama is born and raised in Murfreesboro wich make her a member of that community and she is important as anyone including yourself Mrs Zelnec ( FREEDOM OF SPEECH)... what kind of a candidate is that? you can not answer and say the truth in front of millions watching you... I am sorry MRS Zelnec with all do respect there is no shariia law that run in this country...(I will continue this at the end). The last part of report is about the law suit that Mr. Fisher and 3 other members filled to block immediatly the constructions. so he says this lawsuit is to investigate this group and see were they stand...However I didn't see any part in the law suit that asked these questions... what is that called? In my opinion " FALSE ADVERTISEMENT" hehehehe.... 27:15 Joe Brandon The opposition lawyer quickly turned the argument to the facility is not a religious center based on the Islam is not a religion...Excuse me there is over 200 countries in the world that says and agrees and doesn't doubt that Islam is a religion...Now again I respect your opinion but I suggest you do more researches on Islam.... All the witnesses in this trial were people who do not know a lot and details about the Islamic religion. Mr. Brandon questions does not make any sense specially when he asked about blowing yourself up and getting 71 virgins for it... the most thing that triggered me is when asked " is Allah and God are the same?" First of all sir you are an educated lawyer it is so lame from your side to asked this kind of questions, where did you get your education from? how do you go to court and make a fool of yourself on national Tv by asking stupid uneducated backwards questions.... 29:40 they show and compare issues from Europe how they banned the veil in France... and how 2 mosques are burned ..... Sad stories. All what I seen in this report is a party who wants to build a community center and party that oppose. The sad part is these 2 parties are fighting without any diplomatic civilised solutions. The people who are against the Islamic center Have questions and fear and alot of them have no idea about the true Islam... The fear and the questions they have can not be ignored. We all know that we live in times where religion is a cover for terrorist organizations and we have all the right to question every single detail. On the other hand I know what people think and believe based on what they see on TV. You never see a good uplifting report about Islam on TV. What do you expect from American people who never been outside USA who never been mixed in a different culture to understand what is Islam and all what they see on Tv is terrorist killing American soldiers and people bombing themselves and men stoning women to death, people loosing their parts of their body because they shoplift.Those things that we see on Tv are not everything why there is not even one report about the good side of Islams and the good Islams that are trying to be free from the extremest regimes. Did you ever stop and asked why Muslims and Christians flee their countries to come to USA? Because of freedom of speech because of freedom of believes because we can practice freedom without loosing any part of our bodies. In that report people kept repeating the same story " shariia law" ... This shariaa law can not be applied in USA if a man beat his wife and she call cops wouldn't he be arrested? isn't there Americans none Muslims who beats there wives? Since when USA make laws or approve of laws based on religions? Why keep comparing Muslims who are born and raised as American citezens who proudly love this country to Extremest in Afghanistan and Iran and Iraq??? Again those people escaped the extremest regime to be in a none extremist where everybody is treated the same. We can not judge a book by it is cover as we can not throw away a bucket of grapes because it had few bad pieces in it... My point is I do know for a fact that the terror danger is always there, sleeping cells do exist however we can not compare or put everyone in same box for a simple fact look at your hand and tell me if all your fingers look or act the same.... Terorism is not just people straping themselves with explosive and killing others , it is not only the people who do side roads bombs... Terrorism is the act of hurting and damaging others and their propreties. It is not okay to take a vers from the any of the 3 holly books and translated the way you want simple exemple the vers the sheikh said to Leonardo decaprio in the movie body of lies " don't think who died in God's name are dead" he was justifying the murder of innocent people... That is twisted that vers simply mean if you are prosecuted and died because you belive in God you will have a place in havean...God did not say kill innocent people in my name and don't worry because they will have a place in haven.... that makes no sense if there is a bad person who happened to die in the explosion or whatever does that mean they forgiven for their sins? The extremist took small versus from the holly book and twisted it to justify and brain wash poor uneducated people. This happens in every religion there is always someone who explain things the way they like and there you go, you have followers based on a twisted theries that does not make sense to us but it make sense to uneducated person. These 2 parties fighting without sitting together and discussing the issue. The 2 parties are wrong. I suggest to bring down everyone and do an educational session about the good of this islamic center that contains nothing more then a pool, a soccer field and a school.... I don't see any training facilties for extremest.... The center can be monitored by authorites for all activites and programs they have wich will bring peace to the people who have fear, a complete background check of all members should be acceptable do not forget we are still in danger of sleeping cells who try to invade the good people and the good community. Please sit down all together and discuss concerns without being hateful and ignorant ( please reseach for information in books and online Google it is so simple) Do not say muslims pray for a different God and bring in shariia law issues because in USA everyone is under the same law) ... diplomacy and discussing matters without accusation and ignorance is the key to any modern sociaty... We are all ONE NATION UNDER GOD. PS: I tried a lot to fix the format but when I click publish is get all mixed together I have no idea why... Thanks for reading Marcel
Saturday, March 26, 2011
My dreams that crashed
Every new born baby the minute he starts walking and talking the main question that everybody always asks is " what you want to be when you grow up?", my answer was I want to be a jet fighter pilot. I have always been amazed and fascinated by the fighters jets, I would spend hours watching documentaries on TV and read magazines about jets and what is the latest technologies... It's almost the end of the war and I was around 8 or 9 my grand pa(god bless his soul) told me that someone stole the Mirages (french made fighter) that the army had and sold them to Cypress... I was devastated frustrated how is this possible what about me? what about my dream.... I start crying and I got depressed... How could they crush my Dream???? I never new who did it, but I knew why they did it... It's called GREED.
After that dream of becoming a pilot is doomed, I shifted my focus on sports specially football know as soccer in USA... I had to wear hip braces till I was 7 years old, no physical activity was allowed till that age. When I was born the doctor moved my leg bone from my hip so I had to wear braces around my hips. Not at school only at home. So it have been a year since i can slowly run and do some activity... I start falling in love with the game the years go by and I can run a bit faster I am able to stand up for a long time and best of all I am playing awesome on the defensing line so at 12 years old I joined the school team...Doing good looks like I have a nice future doing something I like..... When I was around 15 I asked about wages for soccer players to get an idea how rich i will be hehehehe..... It turned out they make 300$ plus bonuses if they win a game and the most sad part is they have to get a second full time job to be able to support a family : how sad is that ???? Another hurtful news I am tired of chasing dreams that does not come true... I do Believe and I always said this :" Everything begins with a dream" ....
After all I graduated from college with MIS degree I speak read write 3 different languages which is normal in Lebanon but here in USA it is amazing if you can do that....After College I wanted to get a BA in MIS so I went to a university to finish the 2 years and get my BA... I got sick ... I kept going...I was 30 credit away from graduating which is 6 months... 2006 War started I came here to USA.... My BA dream crashed for now ... It will cost me 35000$ to finish my BA plus I have to do the last 2 years all over again....
Lots of people are in situations like that... I will keep dreaming because if there is no dream there is no purpose to live...
Marcel
After that dream of becoming a pilot is doomed, I shifted my focus on sports specially football know as soccer in USA... I had to wear hip braces till I was 7 years old, no physical activity was allowed till that age. When I was born the doctor moved my leg bone from my hip so I had to wear braces around my hips. Not at school only at home. So it have been a year since i can slowly run and do some activity... I start falling in love with the game the years go by and I can run a bit faster I am able to stand up for a long time and best of all I am playing awesome on the defensing line so at 12 years old I joined the school team...Doing good looks like I have a nice future doing something I like..... When I was around 15 I asked about wages for soccer players to get an idea how rich i will be hehehehe..... It turned out they make 300$ plus bonuses if they win a game and the most sad part is they have to get a second full time job to be able to support a family : how sad is that ???? Another hurtful news I am tired of chasing dreams that does not come true... I do Believe and I always said this :" Everything begins with a dream" ....
After all I graduated from college with MIS degree I speak read write 3 different languages which is normal in Lebanon but here in USA it is amazing if you can do that....After College I wanted to get a BA in MIS so I went to a university to finish the 2 years and get my BA... I got sick ... I kept going...I was 30 credit away from graduating which is 6 months... 2006 War started I came here to USA.... My BA dream crashed for now ... It will cost me 35000$ to finish my BA plus I have to do the last 2 years all over again....
Lots of people are in situations like that... I will keep dreaming because if there is no dream there is no purpose to live...
Marcel
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
My sleep walking friend
I spent 15 years of my life as a boy scout.... every year we go camping at least 3 times a year 3 days in Xmas vacation 3 days in Easter's one and 12 to 15 days in summer...
so this is my 4Th year in scouts and here come the exciting summer camp... we had these new kids new recruits first time camping... so they put this new kid in my team ... I was sleeping and out of no where this new kid step on me and kept going so I yell at him where you going? he says "I am going with my dad to the market" at first i thought he was being silly he probably need to go pee or he need some water or something... but i seen him standing in front of the tent door I asked him : "are you ok?" he was like yeah "I am waiting for my dad to come pick me up" I was in complete shock because i realised that the kid is so damn serious about it .... I got up and run around 300 feet to the next tent where his older brother is ... I got there out of breath and woke up everyone sleeping in that tent i was like maaaaan you brother is crazy or is he on pills or some shit? he said no why ? looking at me like i am crazy ... i start screaming " he is freakin waiting for your dad to come pick him up to go to the damn market in middle of no where" he start laughing he said his brother sleep walk every night he have some disease in his eyes so he were a really thick glasses poor kid...I was like he is not gonna kill us one night right? hehehe everyone laughed... so i went back and told the kid to go wait inside the tent before he get hit by a bus or a car passing by loool.... That may sound mean but it is hella funny...Another night I woke up around 2:30 am and found him sitting in the corner of the tent his legs are crossed raped with his arm shaking and staring , I asked are you ok? he said "no, I lost my glasses and I am blind as a Bat without them... I start laughing he said why you laughing ... I asked " can you see me?" he said yeah ... I told him his glasses are on his face.....he start thanking me calling me a hero ....Another funny story we woke up one night hearing screams for help we looked around that kid is missing... and he was yelling down far in the Forrest for help... it took us 35 minutes to find him because he shut up for 10 minutes and then start yelling again so we kept loosing the sound to track him. Finlay we found him bare feet ....how on earth could a human being walk on rocks and broken branches shoeless? we made walk all the way back hehehe .... The next day he have no idea so it was ok to have fun because what he doesn't know will not hurt him hehehehe......
PS: I used the word kid a lot not to be mean or disrespectful i just thought he might not like me using his real name
I only had one incident were I slept walk. I was around 7 or 8 years old i woke up in the morning walked to the living room , everyone is having there morning coffee then out of no where grand pa see me and start cursing up and down the man was firing at me from god's towers sun of bing sun of bong sun of bang...... I thought the man is crazy or lost his mind.... It turned out that at night I sleep walked to the kitchen grabbed a bucket of plumbs have around 15 in it then walked to my grand pa's bedroom and started to throw the plumbs at him while he was sleeping, when the bucket was empty i walked back to kitchen and put the empty bucket in fridge and went back to bed.... how crazy is that story i did not believe what they told me till i went to grand pa's room and seen all the plumbs splashed everywhere... Grand pa did not allow anyone to clean it he said it's my mess I clean it so i spent my Saturday cleaning and scrubbing grandpa's room.
Marcel
so this is my 4Th year in scouts and here come the exciting summer camp... we had these new kids new recruits first time camping... so they put this new kid in my team ... I was sleeping and out of no where this new kid step on me and kept going so I yell at him where you going? he says "I am going with my dad to the market" at first i thought he was being silly he probably need to go pee or he need some water or something... but i seen him standing in front of the tent door I asked him : "are you ok?" he was like yeah "I am waiting for my dad to come pick me up" I was in complete shock because i realised that the kid is so damn serious about it .... I got up and run around 300 feet to the next tent where his older brother is ... I got there out of breath and woke up everyone sleeping in that tent i was like maaaaan you brother is crazy or is he on pills or some shit? he said no why ? looking at me like i am crazy ... i start screaming " he is freakin waiting for your dad to come pick him up to go to the damn market in middle of no where" he start laughing he said his brother sleep walk every night he have some disease in his eyes so he were a really thick glasses poor kid...I was like he is not gonna kill us one night right? hehehe everyone laughed... so i went back and told the kid to go wait inside the tent before he get hit by a bus or a car passing by loool.... That may sound mean but it is hella funny...Another night I woke up around 2:30 am and found him sitting in the corner of the tent his legs are crossed raped with his arm shaking and staring , I asked are you ok? he said "no, I lost my glasses and I am blind as a Bat without them... I start laughing he said why you laughing ... I asked " can you see me?" he said yeah ... I told him his glasses are on his face.....he start thanking me calling me a hero ....Another funny story we woke up one night hearing screams for help we looked around that kid is missing... and he was yelling down far in the Forrest for help... it took us 35 minutes to find him because he shut up for 10 minutes and then start yelling again so we kept loosing the sound to track him. Finlay we found him bare feet ....how on earth could a human being walk on rocks and broken branches shoeless? we made walk all the way back hehehe .... The next day he have no idea so it was ok to have fun because what he doesn't know will not hurt him hehehehe......
PS: I used the word kid a lot not to be mean or disrespectful i just thought he might not like me using his real name
I only had one incident were I slept walk. I was around 7 or 8 years old i woke up in the morning walked to the living room , everyone is having there morning coffee then out of no where grand pa see me and start cursing up and down the man was firing at me from god's towers sun of bing sun of bong sun of bang...... I thought the man is crazy or lost his mind.... It turned out that at night I sleep walked to the kitchen grabbed a bucket of plumbs have around 15 in it then walked to my grand pa's bedroom and started to throw the plumbs at him while he was sleeping, when the bucket was empty i walked back to kitchen and put the empty bucket in fridge and went back to bed.... how crazy is that story i did not believe what they told me till i went to grand pa's room and seen all the plumbs splashed everywhere... Grand pa did not allow anyone to clean it he said it's my mess I clean it so i spent my Saturday cleaning and scrubbing grandpa's room.
Marcel
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Why I will not go back to Lebanon...
Most my family and my friends keep bugging me to go back to live in Lebanon... I keep telling them no for a lot of reasons:
* My health condition is a major issue. How can I go back to Lebanon and my first 2 weeks in the hospital coasted around 10000$ out of pocket" Thanks to Société Géneral Bank of Lebanon " who helped us to pay that bill, my dad works as a security guard there. every other week a blood work coasted us around 50$ then the treatments each 15 days 100$. According to the cost of living and wages those ammounts are a lot. my dad makes around 600$ a month....
The point is i probably die on the hospital door before we can afford to admit me.....
*It was very hard to keep up with all expenses river's school at least 6000$ a year between books, uniforms and tuition... yes my friends to get an education in Lebanon it cost a lot of money...
* I graduated from college with MIS ( Management Information System) 2 years i stayed looking for a job lots of interviews but I have no buddy in the higher classes to recommends me... I was told unless I know someone big I will never get a job. Here I was hired for my skills not because i know someone with "Big Balls".....
* Here we have furniture not only a couch during the day a bed during the night... yes we are in deep financial troubles however we are able to manage... It's hard but we will pass it.
* I can walk down the street in CA yelling I hate the president no one can tell me anything ... it's called freedom of speech (not that i hate the president hehehe am just giving an example), in Lebanon hell would break loose you will go to jail and get beat .... I know at least 200 person who been beat and hurt and disabled from the brutal beating just because they said what they thought about the government that was controlled by a Syrian officer his headquarter was Anjar in Bekka valley back then.....
* How can I go back to a country where people cross red lights like there's only them on the road , most accidents are caused by TAXI drivers, they cut you off with no signal the just break in front of you out of nowhere. Were 1 person drive over 2 lanes instead of sharing the road, if you ask them why they tell you because they can they will not get in trouble because they know some high ranks police officers who will bail them out with nothing nor bad records.
I love to be free and I will always...
Family Friends I will visit you all but I AM NOT MOVING BACK TO LIVE IN LEBANON ANYTIME SOON...
Marcel
* My health condition is a major issue. How can I go back to Lebanon and my first 2 weeks in the hospital coasted around 10000$ out of pocket" Thanks to Société Géneral Bank of Lebanon " who helped us to pay that bill, my dad works as a security guard there. every other week a blood work coasted us around 50$ then the treatments each 15 days 100$. According to the cost of living and wages those ammounts are a lot. my dad makes around 600$ a month....
The point is i probably die on the hospital door before we can afford to admit me.....
*It was very hard to keep up with all expenses river's school at least 6000$ a year between books, uniforms and tuition... yes my friends to get an education in Lebanon it cost a lot of money...
* I graduated from college with MIS ( Management Information System) 2 years i stayed looking for a job lots of interviews but I have no buddy in the higher classes to recommends me... I was told unless I know someone big I will never get a job. Here I was hired for my skills not because i know someone with "Big Balls".....
* Here we have furniture not only a couch during the day a bed during the night... yes we are in deep financial troubles however we are able to manage... It's hard but we will pass it.
* I can walk down the street in CA yelling I hate the president no one can tell me anything ... it's called freedom of speech (not that i hate the president hehehe am just giving an example), in Lebanon hell would break loose you will go to jail and get beat .... I know at least 200 person who been beat and hurt and disabled from the brutal beating just because they said what they thought about the government that was controlled by a Syrian officer his headquarter was Anjar in Bekka valley back then.....
* How can I go back to a country where people cross red lights like there's only them on the road , most accidents are caused by TAXI drivers, they cut you off with no signal the just break in front of you out of nowhere. Were 1 person drive over 2 lanes instead of sharing the road, if you ask them why they tell you because they can they will not get in trouble because they know some high ranks police officers who will bail them out with nothing nor bad records.
I love to be free and I will always...
Family Friends I will visit you all but I AM NOT MOVING BACK TO LIVE IN LEBANON ANYTIME SOON...
Marcel
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Me and the airports
As you all know am Lebanese and am a resident of California (soon to be Citizen and so proud and excited about it). So when I fly internationally I use my Lebanese passport. Always my tickets get stamped with letters like "SSSS" or some weird stuff so when I am checking in to get to the gate for my flight at San Fransisco international airport the security see my tickets and there you go "am randomly selected " to be searched.... 3 or 4 times same story " Randomly selected" the first year went by and I got my CA driver 's license so when we start flying domestic I used my DL what a shock I am never "Randomly selected"... I went to Lebanon in 2008 of course using my Lebanese passport and of course I am "Randomly selected".... I mean come on give me a break I would like for once in my life time that the security to be honest with me and tell me "Sir, you have a Lebanese passport, that's why we are searching you".... I will be more then happy because I understand they are worrying about every one's safety including mine. Am not saying that Lebanese are terrorist please do not miss understand my point of view.
Thanks
Marcel
Thanks
Marcel
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
My SGN35 experience
Let me start briefly to how I ended up on this trial.
I already had 2 bone marrow transplants (1 auto, 1 allo; cells from my little brother)…had every chemo(ABVD, ICE, and many more I can't remember their names)…and even chemo’s created for me by Hodgkin’s specialist Dr. Sandra Horning ( she called them special cocktail for Marcel) hehehe.
I was taking immunosuppressant’s after my second BMT high doses of Gengraff and the trial was gonna start soon. So one of the fellow (Dr. Logan )who was new on my case in one week he took me off Gengraff. 2weeks go by i have no side effects. However in the few month earlier starting around November 2009 water was piling up in my chest. I only use 60% of my lungs already because the tumor pressed on my lungs and shut 40% off permanently. in April before I start the SGN35 trial a PET scan must be done so we can keep track of any progress of growth...I was really tired, exhausted, I can could hardly talk or walk. Shortness of breath even when I talk. I coughed till I threw up 3 to 4 times a day all what came out was just water. I thought that's it these are my last days. We went me and Angie to see Dr.Logan and i told him "man I think I am really sick and dying". He laughed and told me that the scan showed my right lung is under water so I was living on half a lung since my left one is more damaged from the old tumor. He said" man if you could tolerate that for all these months SGN35 will be a cake walk for you". Me and Angie were so happy i got admitted to same day for one night. They drained a water bottle that fit 1000 ML and big syringe that fit 350 ml. All that came out from my back with a big tall needle around 10 inches long anyway the next morning I did and Xray that showed there is no more water it was all drained. I left the hospital immediately I noticed that Ican breath walk talk hell even ran to the car but got exhausted.. I think I over did it loool.
I met with trial manager, she explained to me about the SGN35 trial and how this was the third year only, there is only 20 patients at Stanford and 20 at a hospital in Texas. I have to admit I prayed harder then ever to be able to get on this trial. With all the issues that was in my way when the time came I was ready.
She said it was able to put 70 to 75% of hard cases like mine in remission. I felt really blessed to be a part of something could be a cure finally. She told me the side effects that could happen, loss of weight, nausea, muscle ache , tingling in hands and legs...I was really excited that there is no new side effects because most times all what I got is nausea...
The first 3 treatments was the most awefull. First time the hook up small machine kind of like EKG to record the heart beats and activity for 2 hours. I could not even get on my Ipod because it interfere with the machine. 2 hrs went by i got the treatment 30 minutes IV. Then another 2 hrs of heart monitoring. I couldn't believe the minute they let me go home.6 days after the treatments i start feeling some cramps in my right thigh muscle. Not sever ones for few days and it was gone.
Second one was OK all what I had to do was some blood work check with my Dr. and am good for second round same issue happened again after 6 days from the treatment.
Third treatment was the same routine as the first one. I stayed up most of the night before so i could sleep those boring hours of monitoring.
Every 3 treatments I had to do a PET scan. The results were amazing the tumors a completely shrank only a small tiny shadow is showing. They said could be a scare tissue. From previous experiences when they tell me a scare tissue usually turns to tumors later. The doctor suggested to keep on going with the schedule and treatments since there is no side effects and to be more secure.
All the rest of the treatments had Heart monitoring for 2 minutes only. But is sucks because a middle eastern guy like me who chest hair is a problem. They had to shave spots only so they can stick those wire.
at treatment 5 I start feeling a small amount of numbness and tingling in my left hand. I report to the doctor she asked if i can write and button up my shirt pants, tie my shoe laces... I said "yeah I am able to do all those", she said ok for round five.
Round 6 was ok but the numbness and tingling is getting a little bit worst my left hand is always num 24/7 and my arm is getting numb in 2 sometimes 3 fingers. But still I was stubborn enough to take round 6.
A new pet scan is due. I feel so good so energetic so happy that the treatments is working. The result were "THE SCAN DID NOT SHOW ANY ACTIVITY AT ALL" I did not cry in front of the doctor I waited till I drove back home then it hit me. After 4 and half years of brutal fights finally for the first time ever there is nothing it is gone no scare tissue no nothing.Cars who stopped next to me on the lights were asking "are you ok?" what you would think a healthy looking man on the outside, music blasting like crazy ,windows down sun roof open on a nice sunny day CRYING??!?!?!? I just smiled and said I beated Cancer for real this time.
Treatment 7 and 8 my hands got really bad I could not open a bottle of water I could not lift anything I could hardly walk without tripping I had no strengh at all. Doctors said it is from SGN. So I had my 8th and last treatment in August 2010.
My hands didn't start to get better till 2 month after my 8 th one. They are progressing but very slowly. I almost have normal feeling in the right one. but the left hand is still a bit numb i say it did improve by 75% since i finished treatments.
Doctors said if I can tolerate the side effects it will go away in few months they can not be exact since each body tolerate things differently.They offered me a medication as a possible solution that might help but it had not so good side effects could make things worst. I said no thank you i can wait till they get better and save me from possible side effects.
My next PET scanner should be around the end of April. I just pray that everything is still the same and I hope that SGN35 will be available for all cancer patients who need it.
Thank you all for reading I tried to be brief but there is so much to talk about. Please if you any questions feel free to ask.
Marcel
I already had 2 bone marrow transplants (1 auto, 1 allo; cells from my little brother)…had every chemo(ABVD, ICE, and many more I can't remember their names)…and even chemo’s created for me by Hodgkin’s specialist Dr. Sandra Horning ( she called them special cocktail for Marcel) hehehe.
I was taking immunosuppressant’s after my second BMT high doses of Gengraff and the trial was gonna start soon. So one of the fellow (Dr. Logan )who was new on my case in one week he took me off Gengraff. 2weeks go by i have no side effects. However in the few month earlier starting around November 2009 water was piling up in my chest. I only use 60% of my lungs already because the tumor pressed on my lungs and shut 40% off permanently. in April before I start the SGN35 trial a PET scan must be done so we can keep track of any progress of growth...I was really tired, exhausted, I can could hardly talk or walk. Shortness of breath even when I talk. I coughed till I threw up 3 to 4 times a day all what came out was just water. I thought that's it these are my last days. We went me and Angie to see Dr.Logan and i told him "man I think I am really sick and dying". He laughed and told me that the scan showed my right lung is under water so I was living on half a lung since my left one is more damaged from the old tumor. He said" man if you could tolerate that for all these months SGN35 will be a cake walk for you". Me and Angie were so happy i got admitted to same day for one night. They drained a water bottle that fit 1000 ML and big syringe that fit 350 ml. All that came out from my back with a big tall needle around 10 inches long anyway the next morning I did and Xray that showed there is no more water it was all drained. I left the hospital immediately I noticed that Ican breath walk talk hell even ran to the car but got exhausted.. I think I over did it loool.
I met with trial manager, she explained to me about the SGN35 trial and how this was the third year only, there is only 20 patients at Stanford and 20 at a hospital in Texas. I have to admit I prayed harder then ever to be able to get on this trial. With all the issues that was in my way when the time came I was ready.
She said it was able to put 70 to 75% of hard cases like mine in remission. I felt really blessed to be a part of something could be a cure finally. She told me the side effects that could happen, loss of weight, nausea, muscle ache , tingling in hands and legs...I was really excited that there is no new side effects because most times all what I got is nausea...
The first 3 treatments was the most awefull. First time the hook up small machine kind of like EKG to record the heart beats and activity for 2 hours. I could not even get on my Ipod because it interfere with the machine. 2 hrs went by i got the treatment 30 minutes IV. Then another 2 hrs of heart monitoring. I couldn't believe the minute they let me go home.6 days after the treatments i start feeling some cramps in my right thigh muscle. Not sever ones for few days and it was gone.
Second one was OK all what I had to do was some blood work check with my Dr. and am good for second round same issue happened again after 6 days from the treatment.
Third treatment was the same routine as the first one. I stayed up most of the night before so i could sleep those boring hours of monitoring.
Every 3 treatments I had to do a PET scan. The results were amazing the tumors a completely shrank only a small tiny shadow is showing. They said could be a scare tissue. From previous experiences when they tell me a scare tissue usually turns to tumors later. The doctor suggested to keep on going with the schedule and treatments since there is no side effects and to be more secure.
All the rest of the treatments had Heart monitoring for 2 minutes only. But is sucks because a middle eastern guy like me who chest hair is a problem. They had to shave spots only so they can stick those wire.
at treatment 5 I start feeling a small amount of numbness and tingling in my left hand. I report to the doctor she asked if i can write and button up my shirt pants, tie my shoe laces... I said "yeah I am able to do all those", she said ok for round five.
Round 6 was ok but the numbness and tingling is getting a little bit worst my left hand is always num 24/7 and my arm is getting numb in 2 sometimes 3 fingers. But still I was stubborn enough to take round 6.
A new pet scan is due. I feel so good so energetic so happy that the treatments is working. The result were "THE SCAN DID NOT SHOW ANY ACTIVITY AT ALL" I did not cry in front of the doctor I waited till I drove back home then it hit me. After 4 and half years of brutal fights finally for the first time ever there is nothing it is gone no scare tissue no nothing.Cars who stopped next to me on the lights were asking "are you ok?" what you would think a healthy looking man on the outside, music blasting like crazy ,windows down sun roof open on a nice sunny day CRYING??!?!?!? I just smiled and said I beated Cancer for real this time.
Treatment 7 and 8 my hands got really bad I could not open a bottle of water I could not lift anything I could hardly walk without tripping I had no strengh at all. Doctors said it is from SGN. So I had my 8th and last treatment in August 2010.
My hands didn't start to get better till 2 month after my 8 th one. They are progressing but very slowly. I almost have normal feeling in the right one. but the left hand is still a bit numb i say it did improve by 75% since i finished treatments.
Doctors said if I can tolerate the side effects it will go away in few months they can not be exact since each body tolerate things differently.They offered me a medication as a possible solution that might help but it had not so good side effects could make things worst. I said no thank you i can wait till they get better and save me from possible side effects.
My next PET scanner should be around the end of April. I just pray that everything is still the same and I hope that SGN35 will be available for all cancer patients who need it.
Thank you all for reading I tried to be brief but there is so much to talk about. Please if you any questions feel free to ask.
Marcel
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Marcel Taking this blog over
Hi everybody, I guess you all know who I am from the blog that my lovely wife created about me. I never found blogging interesting but i have none to do so I wanted to give it a shot.
I will be blogging about the craziest thing that goes threw my head. I don't care what people think of me because I am who I am, I say things the way i see them and proud of myself...
Enough about me bragging about myself, I like to start with the subject that got me interested in blogging.
I heard on some TV show that a new version (Updated as they said) of the Bible is gonna be out that will reveal a lot of important secrets about the catholic church. The Vatican is not forcing anyone to confirm the new version... here is what's intresting the church was slitted before over people wants to put statues in church and people who don't.... I mean how stupid is that .... the way I see it this new pope is bad news for the catholic church... The catholic church will split again between new version of the bible and old version of the bible......and of course in 200 years matter those 2 new religions will split in between them to become 10 to 15 new religion.... example old bible with statues.. old bible without statues...new Bible with ... new without.... that's what i could think of names from top of my head.
PS: Excuse my English sometimes.
Thanks for reading
I will be blogging about the craziest thing that goes threw my head. I don't care what people think of me because I am who I am, I say things the way i see them and proud of myself...
Enough about me bragging about myself, I like to start with the subject that got me interested in blogging.
I heard on some TV show that a new version (Updated as they said) of the Bible is gonna be out that will reveal a lot of important secrets about the catholic church. The Vatican is not forcing anyone to confirm the new version... here is what's intresting the church was slitted before over people wants to put statues in church and people who don't.... I mean how stupid is that .... the way I see it this new pope is bad news for the catholic church... The catholic church will split again between new version of the bible and old version of the bible......and of course in 200 years matter those 2 new religions will split in between them to become 10 to 15 new religion.... example old bible with statues.. old bible without statues...new Bible with ... new without.... that's what i could think of names from top of my head.
PS: Excuse my English sometimes.
Thanks for reading
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